The Best / Worst Piece of Advice I Ever Got

I can't quite figure out if it is the best piece of advice I have received so far, or the worst. It came from one of the gentlemen at church. His wife was diagnosed with Lupus in her 30's, and since they have children my age, you can see he has been living with it for a long time. He told me "The one thing you always have to remember is that you are sick." WHAT!?! I don't want to be sick. I'm tired of being sick already. I haven't been doing this very long and it's already old. I don't want to be sick. I'm tired of the medications and the doctor's appointments and the lab work and being tired and not being able to go to the lake with my friends and the guilt and just the whole damn thing!

But OK, I get it. I am sick. I have a chronic illness and will have this chronic illness until the day I die. That is really hard to fathom. I'm 34, the rest of my life is a really long time - I hope. I've made other decisions that affected "the rest of my life". I have two children. I knew that was a lifelong commitment, but at the same time I knew there would come a time when they wouldn't need me as much. I've joined groups and associations that are also lifetime memberships, but how much and when I choose to be involved is my choice based on the the other activities of my life. This one. This one didn't give me a choice. And this one I have no control over. For the rest of my life.

I know the arguments. I know that I have some control over the disease by the lifestyle choices I make. And trust me, I'm looking at all of them! I am in information overload at the moment from all of the research I have been doing. And these are lifestyle choices I have to make for the rest of my life because I can never forget that I am sick. I am sick for the rest of my life. That is just so overwhelming. I'm 34. I'm supposed to have a lot of life left. So I am going to be sick for a really, really long time. I hate the thought of that. I just can't fathom it. I understand the blood work and the urine tests and the medications and the treatment options and everything I need to be doing to make all of that work the way it needs too -- but I can't fathom that I will dealing with this for the rest of my life. It just hasn't sunk in yet. I hope it does soon.